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Testimony Thursday: Higher Than Mine

By Anthony Pang

About 2 years ago now, I entered into an extended time of fasting and praying through Isaiah with a brother whose marriage was falling apart. He was desperate and felt the need to fast and pray, and so I did it with him to support him. There was a pressing of urgency and desperation in my own heart, as I cared deeply for this brother, and I felt it was a call to arms to fight with him in this battle.

As we were getting deep into it, about the 2nd month, I hit a wall and started to wonder why I was doing this at all. Nothing had really changed, the situation was no closer to being resolved, and frustration had started to boil up within me. It all seemed for nothing. But one night during this latter period, Isaiah 55:8-9 jumped out at me,

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my
thoughts than your thoughts.”

And I started to think about a specific set of insecurities and fears that I have been struggling for my years, a sort of noise beneath the surface. In that moment, there was a heaviness that came upon me, particularly on my chest, a heavy clog that needed to come out. I realized that God was pressing upon me and that this time wasn’t just about my friend or his resolution.  He was trying to get through to me, as well.

Through this season of spiritual focus, He was breaking up the hardened ground of my heart and preparing me for this very moment. And when I was finally ready, God met me with a gentle rebuke, opening my spirit to see who I was before him. I spent a long time that night and after “vomiting,” so to speak, praying out the deceits and lies that fed my struggles, humbly submitting to Him that which did not bring life.

Prayer in this season and moment was much like prayer in all the valleys of my life; it was the only place I could go because I didn’t know where else to turn. And as I’ve continued to do so, it is there that I learned that that is where I find the genuine peace and confidence to walk through the challenges and trials of life.
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